“Music does bring people together.
It allows us to experience the same emotions.
People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit.
No matter what language we speak, what color we are,
the form of our politics or the expression of our love and our faith,
music proves: We are the same.”
~ John Denver ~
Days 18, 17, and 16
Ahhh. Sitting here at my desk at my desk job. Totally non-glamorous world of medical bookkeeping. I have been doing this job since my kennel business started to go belly up in the economy in 2011…so November of this year will mark 4 years here. November seems to be a landmark month for me….
With the loss of Dawn on Sunday, emotions seem to be ricocheting around; what better place to air myself than on this particular run of Social Media and in such a noble cause of following dreams. Problem or the hitch seems to be that I am at a crossroads of dreams. I really have not created one since this one. I still know that this book and body of work would have been simply amazing. To be able to capture dreams being played out in music, well it is that which brings me to the highest peak of joy. Certain musicians and bands really bring it home for me, you however will be relegated to the back burner of experiences I have experienced. You will stay on the Pandora rotation as a way of bringing a fond smile to my face. I am pretty dang certain at this point that this dream is not going to happen….and as I have said before, I am ok with that…surprisingly enough…mostly because I look at the experiences and people and music that have come along because I started this Don Quixote Quest for a Josh Groban Tour Experience.
SO I think I am going to start to name some names and tell the stories of how they affected or were a part of this story….if they were a positive part, well then they will smile at the memories, if they were not, then they might have to just own their part in it….
So if I am going to start in the beginning , well I have to start with Michael….a man who has become a fellow traveler, I am not sure what else he may be. But it is one of those cases of perspective, I have heard so many times the negative they see…that is not however what I saw and still see. Michael is probably one of the most generous men I have ever met. Loving, kind and ever ready to hand it out in spades. He is also driven, like me. He has his sights set on what he wants and he goes for it. He actually is probably a little better than I at the letting go thing, but for me when I give my word and my loyalty are two of my strongest character traits. and no matter how rough it gets I hang in, probably long after I need to let go…and the letting go is hard. I can never not see a time when Michael is not in my life. He was after all the first person to totally take me at my word when I told him what I wanted to do, did not think I was crazy and invited me in to his life, his heart and his co-founded band, Hazy Ray.
Though we live in different cities, I miss him daily, I have no idea how he feels and I am beginning to find that sometimes you just have to give the love and not expect an outcome from it…
Music….OMGee the music…. I have shot two of my dream musicians. Jesse Cook whom I have followed since 1994 and still follow to this day. Lindsey Stirling who I admired for her tenacity…and then she sold out and turned into someone I don’t particularly care for that became VERY evident when I turned to her camp for help in trying to reach you and the answer I received was: We just signed on with the same label and we do not want to rock the boat…so good luck with your quest..it was sent with nastiness and the message was received…and she lost me as a follower….
Along the way I have met similar messages of scorn and patronage…People I approached that I knew could help me…
I am busy person, sorry do not have time for you…Christine Gage, Singer and since 2007 has served on the National Board of Trustees of the Recording Academy (the 20,000 member organization that puts the Grammy’s on). She has risen to the top elected leadership position-she is now Chairman of the Board and the first Independent Artist and only the second woman to do so….so much for women helping other women…
Another local artist John K who told me basically told me to f**k off you are living in a fantasy world, sounds to me like you are trying to get ahead without putting the time in…Nice John K…that stung for a while
People I talked to that thought this was a GREAT idea and then disappeared into the woodwork…that does not negate the people that did step up-a lot of them strangers who continued to stay present and help where they could…again I find it is the people who have the least that offer the most…kind of funny that way and yet I stayed true to this Josh Groban Tour dream…
until I was presented a different perspective– I had actually met this person in November of 2014… but in June of this year…well I really became aware of their dream…Someone I respect immensely, admire greatly and would do just about anything to work,study and learn from and under their guidance, while hopefully being allowed to bring in all of my work and creative experience at the same time. IN many ways it is the PERFECT job for me…I just have to hope they see that as well and the Pros of having me on board…needless to say I have pointed myself in that direction and ….well I hope it will blossom into becoming a part of their dream team. I find that at this point in my life I am more interested in being a working member of this dream than creating one of my own so to speak…I will not say more than that as it is not fair to put them on the spot until they have made a decision, I can only send out to the Universe how much I really want and believe in this …and here again …
I see an incredibly intelligent person with an amazing quietly generous heart and vision beyond what I have even tested myself on. Like my physical trainer, of the last 11 weeks (Dustin Cason of Unchained Fitness) this person is going to be able to create in me the drive of finding and giving more than I ever thought myself capable of. Who would not want to harness themselves to that? Besides which that vision is a dream I could live every day with…and that is really all I am willing to say at this moment on this topic.
So stay tuned as I continue to finish this particular journey to it’s end on September 12th when you take the stage in Atlanta Georgia.