“Seeing is more than a physiological phenomenon… We see not only with our eyes but with all that we are and all that our culture is. The artist is a professional see-er.” (Dorothea Lange)
Days 27 and 26
So today is going to about perceptions, perspective and service.
Every day I wake and look at the waning countdown of days. And after this weekend’s mail, well this piece was actually one of those gotta shake your head kind of things. It was an invitation to buy a ticket to our local Arts Council Annual Celebration of the Arts. One of the packages up for auction, is a night for two. Hair, Dinner and then a limo to Austin to see you in Concert on October 23 at Bass Concert Hall. Had to shake my head on that one. Then my Pandora run has been filled with you popping in WAY more than normal and that is despite the fact that I added Caro Emerald to this shuffle.
So here I am a person who really works at staying open to listening to my gut, intuition, signs, omens and the first email I get last week from TUT…Says welcome to your new dream, as soon as you decided the masses went into action…who knows you may be “their lucky break” and I had literally just decided to ride this last 30 days out, compose an awesome closing letter and then push on to this “new hope” and it is a hope.
I would love to make it a goal but in this case it is really not my decision. The “dream” is not really mine. I did not create it nor have I spent the time this person has on crafting and creating it…but I feel called to put myself in the trace with this person and throw myself wholeheartedly into putting my drive, passion into their dream. Do they need me? I doubt it but I sure would be honored to join them in the pursuit of this very fine dream. I know that I could bring A LOT to the table and make the process easier …and who know maybe my stepping into the trace makes the dream magical instead of amazing…I hope so.
I know that since the end of June, I have let it roll around my mind. I have investigated as much as I am able, tried to get answers where I can, doing so tactfully and quietly. I just cannot jump anymore into things that I have not really looked into and then I call it “rolling in the idea”. A process where I let it sit and sift and “try” it on mentally, if I find things that don’t sit well, then I go back in and dig a little more and find out if it is just the Unknown or if there is something not really right about it and if it feels like a problem…well I take it out all by itself and stare at it and ask it how it can go away and come up with suggestions to solve it…then move on.
Then I have sat down in the last two weeks and put together a packet for the person behind the door I am going to knock at. This packet has points and solutions, Tentative ideas, a job description, how to get the money to pay me, what I can offer, Reference letters from four of my most trusted friends, a cover page and my cover letter is going to be a short video instead of written. I am also going to include an image album…theirs.
There comes a point where you have all the information you have and you gotta let it go. But in this case there is an actual I am afraid…of the rejection. See this person is like AMAZINGLY smart and savvy and I could learn so much from them. They would be a person that would demand the best that I could be and being that I am never one to let a challenge go unmet would give and find even more to give and literally I would be crafted into the best person I can/could be. That is a rare gift for me, I really have not met anyone who can do that to me. I am so hard on myself in striving for my absolute best that to find someone who can get more from me…well I respect them immensely…though I have to say when I first met my trainer, Dustin Cason, I was not sure it was going to work out and in the last 8 weeks I have come to really like this guy. He reads me and knows how to push me and get the best out of me in my physical world…and I am cutting muscles…so this would be the second person I have found in the last few months.
My circle of friends has also changed in the last few months as well. I have girl-friends that are sisters under the skin and we see the world from the same vibration. Then there is my friend, Mike who walked away from what was a potentially fabulous situation for his music but he felt it was not right for him and now he is in Los Angeles…acting in a movie…and I am so glad, proud of him…truly like heart rushing bursting.
I know that it has come down to this, I want to be a part of a tribe that can use all that I can give it. I want to be a part of a legacy, have the joy of seeing the creation on the stage doing a show. I know I need to use my brain, my heart-passion, writing and photography skills. …and make some pesky money abundance while I am at it. It does not have to much, it just has to be enough for me.
So whomever is out there reading this, please say a prayer, lift your head up to the Universe and see if you can throw some seriously positive thoughts into this next knock on the door…I really could use a win 🙂 after all I am still human working on going all Spirit…
Until the next time