In the Round Tour Toyota Center, Houston November 12, 201 Taken By Wylde Soul Photography
In the Round Tour
Toyota Center, Houston
November 12, 201
Taken By Wylde Soul Photography

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before. Albert Einstein

Days 32 and 31

Dear Josh-

And I came back from the weekend with a scratchy throat that has turned into a full throttle head cold. So I sound like a torchy lounge singer complete with the sniffling…sigh…so attractive┬á ­čÖé

Have recently added several new musical artists to my Pandora run alongside of you. Amy Winehouse, Caro Emerald, Jem, Roxy Roca, Vintage Trouble. I find I am more and more attracted to these groups that ring an era that may or may not have been all it was cracked up to be BUT I think it is the simplicity of the music for me. And I can hear the words, tone, and get into the emotion of the piece. While all music can do this, I find no succor in that which is so commercially synthesized that it becomes a formulaic piece. I want some serious storytelling.

So while in the process of shooting bands for experience, I have heard some really awesome talent. Some, if not most will never make it beyond the regional level and that actually should be ok. If you are into something to make money, well it is┬ánot going to work. As we become more and more aware that we are really the same and one, authenticity is coming front and center and there is nowhere quicker to see falsehood than in the Arts…

….truth be known I believe you are skirting that line. I understand that you love Broadway and want to be on Broadway at some point. Here is the thing, one of your best pieces is the one you did when you were 13. The raw emotion of the piece is still evident 20 some odd years later…go create your own. If it is good, they will follow. It is easy to stop worrying about the money…stop paying everyone. Start becoming more involved (and still have someone to share the burden with). I am not so sure why or when we became so attached to the 15 minutes of fame thing. Why that took the place of just asking and receiving. In this aspect I am right there next to Amanda Palmer. I don’t know much about her except her unwillingness to compromise her code and there is a lot of admiration and respect to be given to that.

I heard a word this morning: EQUIVOCATION. I thought it meant one thing and it meant something totally different. Glad I looked it up.

If your boss asks you where all the merchandise went and you say, “someone took it,” omitting that the “someone” in question is you, that’s equivocation: using ambiguous language to hide the truth.

Equivocation comes from the Latin for “equal” and “naming,” and in equivocation, you use a word that could have a few different meanings, all technically equal, in order to mask what you really mean. It’s a great way to not-quite lie, but still avoid taking the blame for something you did, which is why equivocation is never a good thing. You may recognize this kind of speech from watching (some) politicians on TV.

And actually this is what is going on all around us. We are need to stop wavering, stop fearing, start stepping up to the plate and say what we mean and mean what we say. As we come closer and closer to the first tour date, well I find myself really throwing open the windows and airing it all out. I still see this as somewhat of an exercise in futility in the sense that if I could not come in the door as a full fledged professional why I thought throwing myself out there on a Social Media Campaign to gain a meeting…probably was an exercise in futility EXCEPT for the growth I have been internally and OH the people I have met. I have a best guy friend that I would not trade for all of the world….and so many things to say but the time has not quite ripened yet.

As my friend Lorie B says, Have no plan B…but I am going to add Have no Plan B BUT don’t look past the opportunities that present themselves along the way either. They may actually be better and bigger than the one that you thought you were going after AND it may bring more joy, love, peace, abundance than you thought possible. I thought my heart had been cracked open but as each day comes I find that I am able to widen more and more, encompass more.

Until tomorrow…or the next day


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