An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing. ~ Samuel Smiles
*PS-Dear Reader- The only favor I ask is that you follow the story, Share if you are so inclined. Know that I am following dreams as you do.
Ya know life sometimes….I used to get so angry at the little upsets, now I find myself stopping and thinking hmm what was that about, and finding most times, it is just not worth the upset. That it was not about me anyway. So now when the valley’s come, I seek friends I know can raise me up…no pun intended….with a small thoughtful word…or a caring touch.
Today is a bit bittersweet, I decided this weekend to put Nan’s saddle up for sale on Ebay. It sold and I am shipping it off. It was one of the last visible, tangible items I had left of her. It means that chapter has closed and on to the next…which is your tour and creating an amazing book.
So here I was in California, San Diego….crushing for Texas again. I look at my strengths, loves, weaknesses and think long and hard about what I could do to make a living that I would enjoy for the rest of my life….read that line again…slowly…what I could do for a living that I would enjoy….not what is my passion or purpose but what I could do for a living….
I create a combination dog and horse boarding facility. I craft the business proposal on paper, I doodle designs of kennel layouts for months as I am searching College Station real estate ads…and a dear friend already living here does the same. And about 18 months later, I drive up to the gate and BAM it feels like home. Huge, above budget but home. By March of 2007 the kennel is done and I am out there marketing and creating relationships with my clients. I join ABWA (American Business Women’s Association) and the beginnings of long term business and personal relationships begin…Like Lina and Tina of TwinzCo and Nikki Pederson of NIkki Pederson Talent….see the patterns forming ….
I have my Nan. The trainer-Reed- that trained Nan and I is moving to Texas with his girlfriend…business is going great guns….and I could not be more miserable or angry and cannot figure out how to make it stop.
Nan is picking up on this inner turmoil and we are not getting along to the point I do not even want to ride her. Reed takes in a client with a cute small non threatening mare with cantering issues. One thing leads to another and, I have another horse-Misty. She gave me my confidence back, taught me humor-she was definitely the stereotypical pony temperament .
Here they are resting. This was their daily habit. Nan always took a 10amish nap. Misty always stood guard. It was rare for me to find Misty sleeping on the ground
I should be rip roarin happy…after all the money is pouring in. I conceived, visualized and brought to life a huge dream. My clients love me. Ridge comes into my life as my heart dog followed by Dawn. I figure it is the inability to maintain my weight loss without starvation so In 2008 becoming disappointed by my inability to maintain high pounds of weight loss, I began investigating weight loss surgeries and decided to have a vertical sleeve surgery. In July of 2009 it is done and within months I was down from 260 to 170. I had maintained the 40 pound loss from the year before…so a 130 lb weight loss…. it changed everything for me in some ways and brought other things to the surface in others. The other thing that happened in July of that year is that I decide to get back into photography and I bought my first digital camera. I also took my old film Canon out of storage and began to use her again as well. Momentary happiness but the inner work had barely begun so the joy moments are overshadowed by the valley moments.
I am behind the camera every time I can get there. I am on my belly taking macro shots of fungus, birds, flowers…of course Nan and Misty, Dawn and Ridge are in my life by now along with my pack of geriatrics (3) and a heeler who had decided I was his….again I should be floating in joy and….yet I am not….
So I am going to end here and finish the story by the weekend and we can get back to the theaters.